On Computing...

"You think it's a conspiracy by the networks to put bad shows on TV. But the shows are bad because that's what people want. It's not like Windows users don't have any power; I think they are happy with Windows, and that's an incredibly depressing thought..."
( Steve Jobs )

"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home."
( Ken Olson, President of DEC, World Future Society Convention, 1977 )

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots.
"So far, the Universe is winning."
( Rich Cook )

"When a workstation hangs there's a reason... When a Mac crashes it's just Mac OS.."
( Forest Godfrey )

"I'd hate to think we're seriously hampering the productivity of America. But, on the other hand, what the heck!"
( Computer game magnate Les Crane, "Time" )

"Bill Gates [Microsoft CEO] says no matter how much more power we can supply, he'll develop some really exciting software that will bring the machine to its knees."
( David House, Intel VP )

Manual, n.:

A unit of documentation. There are always three or more on a given item. One is on the shelf; someone has the others. The information you need is in the others.

"... Then anyone who leaves behind him a written manual, and likewise anyone who receives it, in the belief that such writing will be clear and certain, must be exceedingly simple-minded..."
( Plato, "Phaedrus" )

"While today's digital hardware is extremely impressive, it is clear that the human retina's real time performance goes unchallenged. Actually to simulate 10 milliseconds of the complete processing of even a single nerve cell from the retina would require the solution of about 500 simultaneous nonlinear differential equations 100 times and would take at least several minutes of time on a Cray supercomputer. Keeping in mind that there are 10 million or more such cells interacting with each other in complex ways, it would take a minimum of 100 years of Cray time to simulate what takes place in your eye many times each second."
( John K. Stevens, "Reverse Engineering the Brain", Byte )

"There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network."
( Guy Almes )

"People in the computer industry use the word 'user', which to them means 'idiot'."
( Dave Barry )

"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside."
( Robert X. Cringely, "InfoWorld" )

"Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it."
( Donald Knuth )

I don't comment my source code. It was hard for me to write, it should be hard for you to read!
( Unknown )

"Programmers do not debug; they verify correctness."
( Seen on a computer cluster whiteboard at CMU )

"But, soon, soon, soon ... the world will be a better place, with meadows and bunnies and fiber optics in every home."
( Tom Dowdy, Apple Computer )

"A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about."
( Douglas Adams, "Mostly Harmless" )

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
( Bill Gates, 1981 )

"Computers can now keep a man's every transgression recorded in a permanent memory bank, duplicating with complex programming and intricate wiring a feat his wife handles quite well without fuss or fanfare."
( Lane Olinghouse )

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
( Rich Cook )